When you tell your doctor how you feel, give him or her reasonable suggestions for resovling the problems, such as getting the first appointment of the day so you won't have to wait. Ask him or her what time calls are usually resumed and say that you will call only at those times unless there's an emergency. Then stick to it.
Doctors know that anger is a secondary feeling, rising up in response to fear, anxiety or frustration. But doctors are also human and under a lot of pressure. So it might be difficult for your doctor to respond to you in a supportive way if you confront him or her only with anger. Ask yourself what lies beneath the anger—fear? rejection? disappointment?—and express those feelings. If it's emotional support you want and your doctor doesn't seem to have the time or compassion to meet your needs, ask if there is someone else who can. You have to be willing to accept your doctor's limitations but be unwilling to accept less than you need.
Intimidation This is a two-way street. Many patients feel intimidated by their doctors. Patients can be afraid that doctors will think they're stupid if they ask too many questions or not like them for taking up so much time. This is fear, pure and simple. Make it work for you. Simply say, "I'm afraid to take up your time but I'm more afraid for myself." You'll be amazed how that kind of honesty can work for you.
The other side to intimidation is when the patient intimidates the doctor. If you think to yourself—or say right out (in a joking way, of course)—"I know as much as you do, so don't try to talk down to me," again recognize the fear at the source of this need to intimidate. Express this fear openly and honestly.
